I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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