Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
