just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
