You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
this just has baby written all over it
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize