i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
