the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Panties = found
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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