he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
