i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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