it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Little spoons don't ask big questions
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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