high people should be assigned attendants
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize