I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
