kristin has been a bad kristin
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i would one night stand the shit outta him
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
