So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
