I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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