okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
