we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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