Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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