what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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