Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
