My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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