Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
