i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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