My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
