she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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