its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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