How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Houston, we have a squirter
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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