All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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