I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize