no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize