discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
