Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
