I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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