Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm too high and old for this...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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