we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize