Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
