So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
