fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
