Me. At least after what I've been through.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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