Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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