i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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