if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
