ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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