where am i from again
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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