somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Pants are for mortals
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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