I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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