Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
