after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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