So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
