I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
