After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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