I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
