if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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