I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
you are never too drunk for berry picking
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize