Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
