i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
