Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize